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“Blurbs are Dead” -The Muskbox
I know who Dan Vogelbach is...Only one week after my mockery of the pre-Muskbox blurb, said blurb has gone missing from this week’s Muskbox! What lies in store for future Muskboxes? Will Carrie finally...
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Phil Rogers Would Take Five Sam Fulds Over One Matt Garza, THANKYOUVERYMUCH
He can't even write a convincing smile.The headline writers at the Chicago Tribune generally do a pretty good job coming up with descriptions of Phil Rogers’ nonsense that actually make the nonsense...
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Today in Ryans I Hate: Theriot, Dempster
Those girls who say your Caray impression is funny are doing it ironically, Dempster.With “Play Ball!” Day rapidly approaching, fluff pieces about bunting tournaments and Alfonso Soriano leading off...
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That Thar Muskbox Swaps Lies Over Fifth-Inning Shit on a Shingle
Yes, Googling “shit on a shingle” was pretty nerve-wracking.This week’s Muskbox straight-facedly asks whether Alfonso Soriano should “sit a spell.” When I was in college, my dorm’s rector was from...
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The Muskbox is Hungover
Friday night games won’t interfere with MY schedule.The final Muskbox of 2012 is mercifully short. Like the Cubs’ 2012 playoff run, Bears fans’ patience, and Dale Sveum’s Book of Interesting Stories....
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The Muskbox Uses So Many Words to Say So Little
When there’s no room left in the Muskbox…The Bun has been getting awfully wordy in the Muskbox lately. Maybe she’s getting paid by the word. Maybe she found a pocket thesaurus. Maybe she lost her...
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The Muskbox Best Be Ready for Friday!
Did anyone remind Carrie it’s not at Shitty’s?Don’t forget, men and women, that this Friday is the next annual installment of a bunch of us getting together, getting drunk, and bitching about the Cubs....
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The Muskbox Wants a Fatter Third Baseman than Aramis Ramirez
Dan Vogelbach would slather that bun in Sriracha and cheese and DEVOUR it.Normally, when the Muskbox suggests moving a player to third base, that player is left-handed, ninety years old, or plays for...
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Is There a Draft in Here? Or is That the Muskbox’s Icy Stare?
You’re bunbelievable!The Muskbox takes a brief hiatus this week from worrying about who will be the backup first baseman in 2013 to worry about who will be the backup first baseman in 2020! Progress?...
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The 2013 Essies
What a year the 2013 Cubs had! They avoided 100 losses, they fired their dull manager, they hired a new dull manager, and they watched Tony LaRussa get voted into the Hall of Fame. On this, the day...
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